September 16, 2009

1. I’ve often lamented my clutter and it is even harder to bear when things are busy, because more and more just gets put aside to be dealt with later, and later is so very far away.  I wrote this down this morning at work.  “I want my house to be a place I want to come home to, not another job to do.”  It’s not a sanctuary if there are always major projects to do.  I know the fly lady has the answer, small routines that gradually whittle it all down, I am just, as always, seeking some discipline to do it.
2. School is off to a rocky start.  I feel cluttered and disorganzied there too, and my schedule is not what I would like, so I am just a big pile of bitch.  The students are fine though, and I deliver on most lessons.  Just like at home, I’d like to get out of the whole and be able to enjoy things.
3. I still love my new car.  It makes me happy.  I’ve kept it very clean.  It’s the least cluttered place in my life.
4. The TV is on the fritz, and I need to take it in for some work I think.  I catch up on shows I want to see, like GLEE, online.  I wish I knew what the problem was.
5. Schoolwise I was on the roof on Monday, really not wanting to teach a particular subject, but my friends talked me down.  We have a little support group – WiNC.  “Why I am Not Crappy.”  
6. PS I woke up today and Paul had left me a little collage painting he had made of the Washington Monument.  It was a lovely beginning to the day.

August 30, 2009

1. Back from Africa.  Great trip, positively surreal at times, being in a completely different culture. We were welcome for dinner at homes every night but one, and think that people really extended themselves for us.  My only crisis came when I reached banana overload.  We always were given a banana at breakfast, and then at dinner they were served both fried and fresh, and you were expected to take both.  But really overall, I have no complaints.  Only have to figure out now how to not just make it a trip, but remember what I saw and act.
2. One thought I have is to pursue a mosquito net fundraiser at school.  I plan on talking to a student who also went to Africa and see if she is interested in doing something along those lines.
3. Tomorrow it is time to restart several things:  back to school, back to workouts, back to drinking water on a regular basis, back to counting calories.
4. My goal tonight is to clean my room.  Doesn’t it seem like I am always attempting that?Would also like to make a french bulletin board.  I have all the materials, just need to do.  I’d like to have it up to get some lists on.  Then to actually do the things on those lists.
5. As it begins tomorrow, I would like to be happy in my work.

April 14, 2009

1. Easter was most glorious, the Great Vigil especially.  The fire lit successfully, and I did, dirty as it sounds, polish the bishop’s crozier.
2. I almost lost faith, no I did lose faith on Good Friday because I was tired, and it was all a downer, and I really felt like I was over it.  But when I came in Saturday morning, I could feel things beginning to thrum and hum with energy.  Not the energy of the people, though that was there, they converted the place from plain to amazing in two hours.  The energy I felt was the stones themselves, wanting to sing.  I attribute amazing power to God, but I think even he had pause and muscle flexing as the moment of Resurrection occurred.  I mean, it is  called power for a reason, right?  It is powerful!
3. There was something in the bishop’s sermon that got me to thinking about risk.  He was talking about seeking the truth. (Look, it might have been our rector who preached this one, or this might be a conglomeration of sermons.  I heard a lot of sermons last week)  There was also something about people who live in places of risk or in fear (It is also possible that none of this was said, it was something else preached that triggered these thoughts)  Anywho, I got to thinking about how to seek the truth, that maybe truth is that life has to be lived with a certain degree of abandon and risk.  That those people who struggle are living in the truth.  I live a very safe life, one that I think is boring in a way in its physical and emotional barricade to avoid exposure and embarrassment and strife.  And the way this all relates to God is this: What exactly am I afraid of?  I don’t live in a place of war.  I have plenty (more than enough!) to eat.  All the standard worries are handled.  What do I fear? Embarrassment? Rejection? And even if there are things to fear: “If God is for us, who can be against us?”  I don’t mean that as an “F-everyone else, I do want I want.” I mean, if I say that I am secure and certain in the hope of the resurrection, what exactly is my worry about not being perfect in my time on the planet.  I need to think more like I did in the abstract painting class.  Do more things because I want to experience them, not because I want to be amazing.
4. Yeah, I am downloading turbo tax right now.  Don’t judge me.  Living on the edge has to begin somewhere. 
5. The dear seeking servant has been accepted to Seminary, and this is right glorious, but I am just starting to realize what that means for me and our parish, which is that he is going to leave us and cleave to another, and pretty soon.  His fine woman too.  I always knew that I guess, but I didn’t really understand how soon that was coming, and I think, Seeking, we ought to all have a drunken sit down, so as to understand how our weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth will play out, and if we can arrange some sort of flaming viking ship for an exit.  I joke, but I am sad too.  I guess I had thought that we had 3 years of seminary to go, and I am not so sure of that anymore.  Did they give you a handout on this transition?  Don’t get me wrong, it is all right and good and a joyful thing, and seeking the truth is risky, I get that, but ouch, ouch, ouch.

April 1, 2009

1. Still alive.
2. Just working the paperwork, trying to get ready for next week.
3. We are having a “penny war” at school.  Each class has a jar.  Pennies earn points, silver takes away points.  You put pennies in your own jar and silver in others.  The winning class gets a ice cream social.  I brought in a soda bottle for the faculty money, because quarters don’t fit in it.  I thought that was crafty, but one of the other faculty members got frustrated trying to put all his pennies in bit by but, and cut the top off.  The money will go 50/50 to the senior class and to the Leukemia/Lymphoma society.
4. My email is getting out of control.  I am trying to keep my to-dos in my head.  not good.
5. The kids liked the bracelets I got them in Jamaica.  Some still have them on.  That makes me happy.  I had a good time telling them the tales, and showing them the places on Google Earth.

March 5, 2009

1. Watching Survivor.  I think if you have to pick a leader, it isn’t going to work out.
2. Disappointment today that the numbers didn’t come up for me to get a second section of Ancient Civ, and thereby drop Sociology.  Just don’t enjoy Soc. all that much. Blah.
3. Did a painting yesterday.  I call it Despair No. 17.  I also toyed with the name Roadside Diner No. 64.
4. It’s possible I may be over painting.  Either that or I need to satisfy the urge to sculpt tin using hammers before I can return to more traditional forms of expression.
5. Items are beginning to pile up on my to do list.  The wheels are wobbling…threatening to come off….I have such trouble concentrating.
6. Clipped another 2 minutes off of my scary workout challenge time.  Am still fat, however.  And why when the kids pass us (we workout in the hall) does everyone say Go Rebecca or Go Neil, but never say anything to me?  Many many years after I graduated, I still wander unnoticed through the halls of high school.
7. Violet is my little familiar.  She follows me everywhere, and even now is resting on my wrists, purring, as I type.  Sweet and tiny little thing.

November 23, 2008

1. Had lunch with the previous easter president and another previous president yesterday.  She handed over 3 ginormous binders full of stuff, which will definitely be helpful and certainly interesting to read through.  But of course the whole concept is a little scary.  But it was great to talk to them, and I’d like this whole experience to be fun and interesting, rather than scary and stressful, so the lunch set a good tone.
2. Went to a party for a friend last night.  Haven’t seen her for a while, and she has gone through a painful year, with a divorce.  So frightening to see how quickly things can change, but so impressive to see how resilient people can be.  She had a ton of loving friends there, including some of the former in-laws.  Oh, and awesome food, which of course I had too much of.  Those little sandwiches lay me low every time.
3. Came home from the Altar guild crew to a lovely surprise.  Beautiful flowers from Melissa.  Nice big sunflowers and yellow roses.  Nice treat!
4. Getting squared away to head out for a day at church.  Going early to recheck yesterdays checklist.  I do love a checklist.  Seriously I do.  Everything should have one.
5. The heater on my car seems to be giving up, which is not a treat in this cold weather.  The heater going was the death knell for my other car. (that and the entire electrical system.  It could be a loooong winter.  Come on little car!  Hang in there!

November 11, 2008

1. My joy at a day off today is quite unseemly.  I really must discover some sort of fortune and be able to stop working and run my little coffee shop for a few hours a day, and spend the rest of the time futzing around.  You know, doing crafts and good, that sort of thing.
2. Speaking of fortune, I called the insurance company, and indeed they had made a mistake on that check.  They had already realized it and stopped payment.  I kind of hoped they would give me some sort of “Honesty Bonus” for calling, but alas, they did not.
3. I got a couple of requests from people and finally made the jump and joined facebook.  Frankly, it makes even less sense to me now than it used too, but I have talked to 3 people today that I haven’t had contact with in years, and that is nice.  If I can limit my use of it to a little bit of time a day (beacuse I can see how you can get lost clicking around in it) it might be fun.  Or at least not annoying.
4. In respose to this rush of high tech, I am glad that today is letter writing day, in my organizational crazy fest.
5. Almost caught up on “Heroes.” 

October 15, 2008

1. I’m at AB’s house watching the debate.  She’s got some sweet wireless internet happening.
2. Stop talking about Joe the Plumber!
3. Days are busy but good.  Schools pace is very fast.  I think being more organized I actually notice how busy  things are, because at any break point, I have a list to work on, as opposed to not knowing what I should be doing and checking Cute Overload instead.
4. Today was a momentous occasion.  I had my last counseling appointment.  She has helped me through some rough times, but I have finally broken her spirit and she is moving.  Just kidding, I didn’t really break her spirit, I don’t think.  Hmm, maybe I did.  I certainly did talk about myself alot.  Anywho, She is awesome and even though I gain an hour on Wednesday afternoons, I’ll miss her.  Salute!
5. Obama wins the tie contest, but why did they both wear stripes?

October 8, 2008

1. On the mend, but still in the cone.  Doesn’t He look like Little Lord Fauntleroy with that bow?
2. There’s a thin line between barely organized and total chaos.  Welcome to my world.
3. The Wedding in Kentucky was lots of fun.  The reception was in a tobacco barn.  I had some hilbilly bare feet, because I got a blister from my new shoes right away.
4. Get this!  The bartender and car parkers had aprons with the Episcopal Shield on them.  So I went and made small talk, and it turns out that they are doing a capital campaign, and one of their fundraisers is hiring themselves out at parties.  Awesome!  I smell a motion at the next vestry meeting!
5. We stayed on a 100 acre horse farm and made friends with 5 horses and a dog named cricket.  Also I ate a cinnamon bun as big as my head.  Ok, a slight exaggeration, but it was close.
6. The drive through West Virginia was really beautiful.  And the little car that just won’t die cranked out over 1000 miles!

September 11, 2008

1. I feel a little like I am on an out of control train.  Events almost every night this week.  I really want things to settle down to some sort of calm rhythm.
2. School is going well.  I’m staying pretty organzied.  The new class is hard.  I must admit, I feel a little intimidated by the size of the class and the older kids. 
3. The 8th graders are good though,  They laugh in all the right places.
4. The workout group started Tuesday.  Just a light workout…the “roaring circuit” – 100 push ups, 100 situps, 100 squats and 1600 steps.  I’m a ball of pain, and now it is almost time to go and see  what torture the trainer has dreamed up for today. 
5. I’ve got to go tidy my counters.  That is what is on the organizational list for today.  “Tidy Counters.”